Trust in His timing..... Do not be afraid

My oh my as I sit in the library I can't help but smile and think to myself hmmmmm.......God has a way of talking to His children and catching our attention. Lately I have been so drained from studying and I think it's partly because I felt that I could do this on my own but really I can't and should know better because I have tried it on my own over and over again but I keep coming back to the same point. Past experiences has shown me that I can't do it on my own so I don't know why I still try when I have God right next to me telling me to surrender it all to him.

This past Saturday after taking a practice exam that I did so terrible on, I cried my eyes out because I know my exam is less than a week away and I can't afford to do bad on any practice exam this close to the real deal. After crying my eyes and lungs out, then I typed up an text to my mum telling her I couldn't do it anymore and didn't think I want to continue with this profession anymore because it was taking too long and looks like I was not progressing while everyone around me is...yes I was scared..... Well brethren that is the point where I should have stop and said to the devil..... No no more lies, I serve a very big God, a great God who has promised to give me abundant life and thoughts to prosper me and bring me to an expected end. But I didn't I sent the text and knowing my mum she didn't even bother to reply ( she is probably like hmmmm this daughter of mine.... Let me go pray to my God- which she told me later she actually did after she called my pastor....I love this mother of mine 😘😘😘)

Well in this mist of my crying and contemplating to call it a quit my alarm rang and it's time for prayer call with #proverbs31women.... Talk about coincidence and God's perfect timing. First, I was asked to lead the praise and worship.... Knowing fully well that I was down and really didn't want but I DID ( and it lifted my spirit up just singing to God despite how I was feeling) . Afterwards, the prayear and words of encouragement that morning was geared towards Psalms 139: 16-24. Wow I was so sure God was talking to me when we read that verse..... God was saying" Kemi I formed you  and I have ordained all your days before any one of them came to be, how precious are my thoughts for you!". This blew me away and I have to say Lord I am sorry for doubting you and your thoughts towards me. But this is just to remind me and anyone going through the storms of life that God is by your side . Yes it's not going to be easy and many people will tell you to give up but know who you Serve and Trust Him and the different turns of life all the way.

So today.....It's one day till the big day...... Yep the day that I have been waiting for, the day my family , friends, loved ones have prayed and fasted for me about and really am I ready???? Sincerely I am not ... We'll I don't feel ready cos I don't think I know everything but I am walking in with the one who give the Wisdom, Knowledge and perfect understanding. 

As I opened my bible to read 1 Samuel as suggested by sisTito's blog and this bible verse popped up.

Romans 11:33 God’s riches, wisdom, and knowledge are so deep that it is impossible to explain his decisions or to understand his ways- http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans11:33&version=GW

Yep I call it another reminder from God......... which is so true for me personally. May be my fear and doubt comes from the fact that I still don't understand the length of time that it's taking me to achieve this vision of mine. But thinking about the journey thus far, I can say I have learned more about myself than ever. I have come to realize that I have no one else to turn to regarding any ares of my life except God. Another aspect of this journey apart from trusting God, is to remember to give God the praise through the tough time. This has been so difficult but at a time like this when I can't even concentrate on studying anymore I turn to my Marker the one who formed me and knew that this moment in time will come. I choose to praise Him regardless of what the situation is ..... Good or Bad he remains God.He has not changed and never would change. Whether I make the cut or not.... It doesn't change him or make him less of My God.

So as I round up today, I choose to walk into that room victorious, He won this case for me and indeed I am trilled because I know that I will be part of the multitude who already have testimonies to share. Seriously, this month of May has been filled with testimonies and I will soon count my joy , sing praise to God this month. I am certain and sure of it.

So stay tuned for my journey " Destined by Grace"

Signing out

Keep me in your prayers 

Kemi A